July 1976
CONTENTS
MAIL HUSTLER AH-HA!!!! I have proof you guys print your own letters. Caught ya! L.B. New Jersey (May Frank Rizzo squat on your cranium. — Ed.) ANOTHER TWO-BIT CONSPIRACY THEORY ...if you ask me, Freddy Mercury looks like (and probably is) that faggot in Dog Day Afternoon turned demented rapist in Lipschtick, just another faggot turned glitterock star, who rips off and rapes R.D. Laing/early Gentle Giant word game over dubs, making another trite top-40 song.
CHRISTGAU CONSUMER GUIDE
THE STANKY BROWN GROUP: "Our Pleasure to Serve You" (Sire):: You can take the Ozark Mountain Daredevils out of the country, but you can't turn them into the Doobie Brothers. D Plus. PAUL BUTTERFIELD: "Put It in Your Ear" (Bearsville) :: Butter has long since achieved an authentic blues style; the modishly far-out rhythms and textures here are so authentic they recall Jimmy Witherspoon or Bobby Bland casting desperately about for a hit. The bluesman fluffs one ballad and sounds a little strange doing romantic patter, arid producer Henry Glover has for some reason set his own "Breadline" amid enough instruments to feed a family of four for six months, but once you conquer your suspicion that this is a disaster it sounds pretty good.
ROCK 'N' ROLL NEWS
We're blushing here in the news department because Patti Smith did not join the Rolling Thunder tour; turned out there were scheduling problems and so Patti had to say "No thanks, Boberino." By now reports should be in from our English correspondents about Patti's impact on the Old World from her European tour.
THE BEAT GOES ON
Susan Whitall
Paul & Linda Spawn Squidlets PARIS—Ever wonder what kinds of parents your favorite rock stars are? What are Grace Slick's views on toilet training? Dylan's stand on Dr. Spock? Well, the French have always been very concerned with the rearing of children, and when Paul McCartney and Wings checked into the elegant George V Hotel in Paris to rehearse for their late spring U.S. tour, Paul and Linda's parenting techniques were not overlooked.
Patti Smith In Her Own Lights
Charlotte Pressler
There was a Patti Smith concert in Cleveland and everybody was there.
INNOCENTS IN BABYLON PART 2
Lester Bangs
This is the conclusion of a two-part article on the music and lifestyle of Jamaica.
Creem Celebrates The American Revolution With A Revolution Contest
Everybody's celebrating the American Revolution this year...and we know what that was all about! CREEM, America's only rock 'n' roll magazine, is celebrating the Rock Revolution — our way, and we want you to figure that out. You can be the grand prize winner, or win any of these fabulous prizes if you tell us in 25 words or less, 'just what is Rock 'n' Roll anyway?' Try to capture the essence of rock and send it along and you just might be one of the lucky winners.
Robin Trower: Prince of the Power Wah
Susan Whitall
"Robin Trower? He's very moody," I was warned before embarking on the road with the 31-year-old English axe ace.
Letter From Britain
The Walrus Was Ringo!
Simon Frith
They've just re-released the twenty-two original Beatles singles, plus Yesterday,.
Creem CELIBRATES THE BICENTENNIAL!
Lester Bangs
I am sure that there are many of you out there who have heard of this phenomenon called the Bicentennial.
Features
For the NEXT 200 Years...THE SHAPE OF KISS TO COME
Gerald L.K.Smite
Yes, we have finally discovered the secret Protocols, the Manifesto of the KISS ARMY.
"Let It Rot" Calender of Death
Michael Gray
Brighten up your bedroom with Michael Gray's CREEM Calendar Of Rock'n'Roll Demises! See at a glance who OD'ed on your birthday! And use its info to play Spot The Macabre Coincidences. (Example: note how bluesmen drop like flies in the period May 24-26! Note how Greenwich Village folk choose April '66 for suicide time! Notice how Brian Jones and Jim Morrison both die in water on the some day of the year!!!)
Creem Profiles
AMERICA
(Pronounced “Boy Howdy!”)
Features
AEROSMITH’S FIGHT FOR LIFE
Dave Hickey
You never know who your friends are...
Eleganza
Television Stare Down the Eyes of Fame
Lisa Robinson
Given the attitudes of much of the recording industry, no wonder it's taken so long for Television (the group) to get a recording contract.
McCartney’s Back With a Whole Pack of Geeks!!
Well, actually it is lovely Linda's back (ha, ha, ha...).
Records
State of the Art: Bland on Bland
Lester Bangs
There are two things to be said about this new Stones album before closing time: one is that they are still perfectly in tune with the times (a.k.a., sometimes, trendies) and the other is that the heat's off, because it's all over, they really don't matter anymore or stand for anything, which is certainly lucky for both them and us.
SAMESAMEOLDOLD(do you care?)
James Wolcott
No "Black Dog" here, no "Kashmir" either. Yet though Presence doesn't bombingly pockmark the landscape or scale snowy Himalayan heights even if Jimmy Page's guitar is becoming a riff Osterizer and Robert Plant's voice is shredding at the edges and tearing in the middle — still, Zeppelin has such command of heavy-metal weaponry that even their modest efforts have scorched-earth capability.
Records
EVERY MAN GOES GOLD
Lester Bangs
Bob Seger refuses to say die.
Rewire Yourself
Babes In Toyland
Richard Robinson
A few months ago I wrote of the difficulties I encountered when I tried to build Sinclair's Black Watch kit.
Who Is George Washington And Why Are They Saying All Those Terrible Things About Him?
Michael K. Kring
Did you know the picture on the dollar bill isn't a picture of the father of our country, George Washington?
Confessions of a FILMFOX
Jaan Uhelszki
The Fords have certainly racked up quite a lot of mileage on the star circuit. Brother Steven was backstage at a Peter Frampton concert pumping Peter's hand and gushing that the pretty boy was his absolute favorite rock star. (Then why were the Bay City Rollers invited to the White House?) Jack-boy prefers the dark, sultry female model — like Bianca Jagger, who he had over to the House one day for some tea and sympathy — much to the First Momma's disapproval.
Creemedia
Death Cookies From Space
Richard C. Walls
If you're tired of conspiracy theories than you might as well go sit on a fudgesickle, 'cause I got one that will really flake your toenails.
Extension Chords
Be Your Own Kraftwerk
Eric Gaer
Just introduced on the market is Roland's System 100 Synthesizer which contains five different elements common with far more complex units into one system which retails for less than $2000.
BARNEY & MIKE
Bob Wilson
Paul Keeps Wings Aloft Slakes Fans' Beatle Hunger
Susan Whitall
A motley crowd of 34,000 old Beatle fans and young Wings enthusiasts packed the Olympia for two nights in May when Paul McCartney made his first Detroit appearance in ten years.
Motor Mouth
Springtime In Detroit...And The Shows Keep Coming
Can't believe how much there is to tell you — May was an exceptional music month.
And We’ll Have Fun, Fun, Fun, ’Til Daddy Takes The Stratocaster Away!!!
Amory Blaine
Faster than an overdub, able to leap tall decibels in a single twang, stronger than money — it's a band, it's a group, it's...it's BLAZE.