If you're tired of conspiracy theories than you might as well go sit on a fudgesickle, 'cause I got one that will really flake your toenails.

Once upon a time, and a fairly good time it was, Wayne and Schuster did a skit about being a TV addict. Tho it was a corny bit even then, many a habitual tubesucker has discovered that TV withdrawal is a reality, what with having to back up from what sundry and all have agreed has been the most abysmal TV season in the history of TV and seasons (the seasons having multiplied from one to 3.5 per year, an indication of just how abysmal things have become). But let The Monte -fuscos and Big Eddie rest — the good news is that in dimmer days those shows probably would have caught on (remember Gilligan's Island? And even more cogent is the original Dick Van Dyke Show whose once fresh format, now seen in endless rerun, seems embarassingly naive) while the bad news consists of the shows that have been left on. Crime is still an adventure (especially smack dealing and rape) and relevance is still a series of bad punchlines.