May 1984
CREEM CLOSE-UP METAL
PLEASE FINISH DRIVING US CRAZY BEFORE YOU START BRANCHING OUT
RICK JOHNSON
Let's see now, is heavy metal dead or not this month? (Refers to CREEM's handy Deod/Not Dead Editorial Calendar) Hmmm...psychedelic hula is dead this month...so is speech-afterremoval-of-larynx country blues. Uh...knock-knock accordion power trios are alive this month, so is heavy clambake watusi, heavy Finnish breakdown film noir background dubbing noises, and...OK, yeah, here it is—heavy metal is alive and well!
THE WIZARD THAT'S OZ!
When you say "Heavy Metal" you better say "Ozzy Osbourne" a few seconds later! This respectable human being may be the grandaddy of everything else that's in this magazine! Oswald started the entire sphere rolling back in the '40s with Blackius Sabothius—later conveniently shortened to Black Sabbath—and began a startling comeback after the demise of that very same band!
THE RISE AND RISE OF INDEPENDENT METAL
SYLVIE SIMMONS
Here we have our old pal HM—nasty, dirty, loud, offensive, fun.
MOTLEY CRUE AIN’T NO SISSIES!
In point of fact, Motley Crue may be more masculine than you are!
HOW CAN A TURNTABLE MELT? CONSUMERS TO THE NEW METAL
SYLVIE SIMMONS
Gimp rock. Every time you turn on the radio, there it is, whopping you about the ears with all the strength of a cottonwool ball. As much fun as books about little girls and puppies. As much fun as films starring Richard Dreyfuss. Overpaid, overweight Americans who open their mouths to muzak and gloop.
METAL GODS WHO BEAT THE ODDS
J. KORDOSH
Well, tch, tch and gosh almighty. Heavy metal? Teenybopper? Whoulda thunk it? Outside of Bobby Sherman, of course— his new LP, Hey, Little Woman, Please Scream In Hell should be out any day now. When you think about it, though, this does pretty much explain the amazing New Wave Of Metal everybody here at CREEM keeps writing about.
IT’S 1984, DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR VAN HALEN IS?
FEEL the heat! TASTE the excitement!
DEAR DEE LEPPARD
RICK JOHNSON
We get letters. Boy, do we get letters. Every single day, the poor mailman trudges up the rickety back stairway to our perch bearing seven or eight Glad Heavyweight trashbags full of letters that actually glow from the hatred, venom and teenage lust within.
THE HEAVY METAL DRESS CODE WEAR IT OR ELSE!
JOHN MENDELSSOHN
It's interesting to recall—and, for the younger reader, astonishing to find out—that the founding jimmies of heavy metal liked to dress up as women—or, if not liked to, at least agreed to when their managers, most of whom were raging homosexuals (this long before gays went in for the ruggedly masculine and collegiate looks they favor today) urged them to.
METALVIDEO MASSACRE
BILLY ALTMAN
Think of heavy metal videos and what comes to mind? Well, let's see...there's leather, of course, and dwarfs, musn't forget them, and maybe some good old fashioned Third Reich symbolism as well, and hey, can't leave out the most important visual element of any rock video—namely, Chicks In Their Underwear!
CREEM CLOSE-UP METAL
HM BEYOND THE SOUND BARRIER?
Where will this New Wave Of Heavy Metal take us? To the brink? To the laundromat? To your friend Louis's house? Who, indeed, can say? Take for instance Sound Barrier, pictured here and touted as "Heavy Metal's First Black Group"—though maybe George Clinton & company might want to take 'em up on that.