March 1984

MICK JAGGER & JERRY HALL

CONTENTS

DAVID BOWIE

MUG SHOTS

Some celebrities will do anything to get into our hallowed Mug Shots section. Did we ever tell you about the time Joni Mitchell baked Jackson Browne into an enormous Booberry muffin and had him delivered—fresh—to our offices? Or Strummer donned a Garfield The Cat costume and pretended to fire his lead guitarist?

JOHN COUGAR

DOG HORMONES REACH THE LONE STAR STATE!

Facial hair—can't live with it, can't live without it! We mean, ZZ Top hardly invented the stuff.

AC/DC: RACE OF GIANTS?

People write us letters saying stuff like "Angus is a runt, but he's still my friend!"

Talk About Strange BEDFELLOWS!

We mean it, gossip fans! Some of these couples should have checked out the animal shelter before they actually coupled! Some of 'em even went so far as to voluntarily connubialize these unholy alliances! What ever happened to the good old days of John 'n' Cynthia, John 'n' Yoko, and John 'n' Blabbermouth?

ROCK SHOOTER!!

Hey! If Linda McCartney and Lynn Goldsmith can make records, then it only follows that the Police's Andy Summers should be able to publish his photographs, right? Andy, who's better known as the guitarist for those blonde reggae rockers, recently published his first book of photography.

A ROCKIN' BENEFIT FOR MS!

Little's been heard from Ronnie Lane during the last several years, but there was a time when Ronnie was one of rock's most prominent bass guitarists. He was an original member of the (Small) Faces, although he left the group in '73 to form Slim Chance.

NO REST FOR THE WICKED!

You thought maybe it was OK now to get your platform shoes out of the closet, right? Thought it was safe to smudge Aunt Jemima's finest all over your puss and paint your eyeballs green? Not afraid to start puking blood in public again? Sorry, podner!

ANOTHER STRANGE INVASION!

Good Lord! The world in a massive uproar in late '83, and you—poor you—probably didn't even realize it! Why? Because you were one of the unfortunates who failed to buy the September issue of National Space & Tobacco Report Monthy—and thus heard nothing of the incredible threat posed by the S'lgugu!

VAN HALEN IS BACK!

And we bet you didn't even miss 'em!

WOMEN IN CARS: AND VAST NEW WORLDS OF ROCK!

Maybe Eddie Cochran started it all when he sang "That car's fine lookin', man, it's something else" and "That girl's fine lookin', man, she's something else." Anyway, cars and girls have gone hand-in-hand with rock 'n' roll ever since. If you don't believe us, just ask Bruce Springsteen or the Stray Cats.

ALBUM COVER AWARDS! Beauty & The Beast Strike Again!

Album covers! Again! Those cardboard devices that keep your vinyl from getting too dusty and dirty! We're growing so tired of the pretensions and gaudiness passing our way lately that our eyes and minds are becoming sore! What happened to the good old days of record covers like Meet The Beatles?

INTELLECTUAL KINGS OF HEAVY METAL!

QUIET RIOT

ROCKIN' THEIR LIVES AWAY!

Jerry Lee Lewis is one of the pioneers of rock 'n' roll. He's been making wild music ever since the rock started rolling at Sam Phillips's rockabilly haven in Memphis over a quarter of a century ago. The Killer recently celebrated another milestone anniversary in the business, and to celebrate he threw a rock 'n' roll party.

Backstage

One of our major premises here at "America's Only Rock 'N' Roll Magazine" is that the stars are just normal folks—regular old jerks and morons like you and us! That's why we always take such great delight in presenting BACKSTAGE—the one place where the stars are caught offstage and screen, with their defenses down and their silliness up!

OVER EXPOSED

In answer to the many requests and outright begging we've had from our female lookers to feature more m-e-n in this section, the slightly ajar crew here at America's Only penetrated our files to bring you the absolute hottest and downright dirty pix now in existence!

DALE BOZZIO

In The Beginning There Was Otis... And, Oh Yeah, Genesis Too!

"Of all places!" screeched one concertgoer at the last Genesis concert ever! Who'd've thought that they'd be at a stupid rock concert when massive nuclear explosions all over the world resulted in a cosmic fireworks display in every part of the known world?

CARLY SIMON

ROCK-SHOTS VS. THE EXPLOITATION SYNDROME

It's Talent Roundup Day, Mouseketeers, and have we ever got some good 'uns for you this time! Our expert talent scouts visited every sawdust dancehall, women's reformatory broom closet, and places where they sell lots of pink stuff in the country to select the very finest in female yahoo today!

NEW FACES FROM NEWER PLACES

Heavens to betsy if this zany world o' rock doesn't shock us deeply! Here we get all comfortable with fave bands like Lynyrd Skynyrd, Kiss and Styx and here come these new guys! And just look at their funny haircuts! We'll tell you, darned if we can keep up with these kids today!

TWISTED SISTER

MARI WILSON

MOTLEY CRUE

INXS

X

MOTLEY CRUE

"We are driven," these zany gals chant in unison, and only those with clothespins where their eyes should be would wonder what the heck they mean! These four luscious gals know that there's more than one way to skin a...wait a minute...what? There's only three luscious gals?

BRYAN ADAMS

So you wanna be a rock 'n' roll star, eh? Drink champagne, eat caviar, wear only the grooviest clothes, and drive a Mercedes? Well, as Bryan Adams so graphically illustrates here, things ain't what they useta be and this ain't the summer of love!

BOY GEORGE

BOY HOWDY BEER - THE CREAM OF CREEM!

Hey there! What do John Lennon, Keith Richards, John Cougar and Boy George all have in common? Everyone of them has made a testimonial to the cream of CREEM-Boy Howdy Beer! Every month in CREEM, the stars come out, promoting the champagne of rock 'n' roll beers and the greatest high in town!

DAVID BYRNE

CHRISSIE HYNDE

THE POLICE