October 1985
BONO VOX OF U2
CONTENTS
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN
MUG SHOTS PIGS 'N' PAPARAZZI!
Those of you unfortunate enough to have never purchased ROCK-SHOTS—and here is the human plight distilled! —are probably wondering just what this section’s all about. Of course, we, the editors could tell you—either right here in the introduction or perhaps in a personal visit to your home.
KATRINA & THE WAVES
PLANT: ON THE ROAD
Robert Plant, former lead singer with Led Zeppelin, has just released his third solo album to massive solo acclaim. On this page and the next, we present the talented vocalist onstage, performing.
TEARS FOR FEARS
TWO of US
"Two of us eating sushi, being yuppies, rock ’n’ rollin’, what's it matter? On our way back home, we're goin’ home, we’re goin’ home...”
Madonna: Is She, Indeed, Human?
After viewing rock starlet Madonna during her recent American tour, the entire staff at ROCK-SHOTS would like to make a few points—to you, the discerning reader. Perhaps you’re one of the many who’ve recently heard certain “rumors” about the woman.
THE WAY THEY WERE!
Certainly our favorite part of ROCK-SHOTS—and the favorite of the Pulitzer committee, who not incidentally for a massive success not seen since the original Life magazine" in their Pulitzer Prizes 'n' Stuff annual journal—is our "The Way They Were" Section.
Weowna FIONA!
It's true! Thanks to you millions of loyal ROCK-SHOTS readers, we simply didn’t know what to do with our tonnage of negotiable securities...so (we figured), what the hey, why don’t we actually buy a few rock stars, just to have around? It was good figuring!
FIONA
YIN YANG WHAM! JAM
Well, strike up The East Is Red"...it's party time in China! We're sure you readers were just as delighted as we. the editors of this internationally-renowned rock photo/modern diplomacy mag, when you found out Wham! toured the People's Republic of China.
IT HAPPENED ON STAGE BELIEVE IT OR NOT!
A stage, as everyone knows, is merely a stop on a journey. Or it’s what Buffalo Bill, Jr. daringly rode through injun territory to save a preacher, a schoolmarm and a beautiful young gal who was a-headin’ west to meet her fiance. Or it’s what an insect goes through on its way to becoming a bigger and uglier insect.
MOTLEY CRUE PULL-OUT POSTER
MADONNA
MOTLEY CRUE
APOLLO-MANIA!
All right! The venerable Apollo Theater in Harlem— the venue that formerly featured such mega-stars as James Brown, Stevie Wonder and the Jacksons— reopened this year...and ROCK-SHOTS was there, of course. Joining in on the celebration were innumerable stars from both the Apollo Era and nowadays, as you'll see here.
Backstage
We go backstage, and what do we see? Dunderheads, dunderheads— everywhere we look, nothing but dunderheads!! What the heck is this supposed to be? We don’t see fatheads! We don’t see cottonheads! We don’t see dandruffheads! We don’t see head (as in dope) heads!
OVER EXPOSED
Rock 'n' roll is a dirty business—but, they somebody's got to do it! As a result, you may be wondering how the best-groomed rock stars keep themselves clean. As a public service to slobs, unwell-groomed rock stars and aspiring well-groomed rock stars everywhere, ROCK-SHOTS is pleased as punch to present you with these cleaning tips of the stars!
BON JOVI
VIDEO VANITIES
TV! What it be! Want some video! Wanna lean on that video! We spell it V...we spell it I...we spell it D...we spell it E...we spell it oh, oh, oh! It be happening! It be so now! It hurts!! Don't be a rube, get into that tube! Peoples!! Yes! Gotta, gotta know that screen scene!
"WE'RE AN AMERICAN BAND..."
Grand Funk, this ain't! After a short decline, people in the know are starting to talk about an American rock 'n' roll renaissance. The British press in particular has been singing the praises of a "return to the grassroots" movement in the good old U.S. of A., and these limeys seemed to hate everything about America just a short time ago.
MOTLEY CRUE IMITATORS BEWARE!
We'll tell you, some people will do anything to make a buck. First there was Motley Crue, an incredibly inspired and—in fact—all-around terrific band who reinvented music. Then along comes some outfielder on the Kansas City Royals called Darryl Motley.
'til tuesday
THE EMPEROR'S NEW BANDS
Perhaps the oddest order passed down from the throne of Emperor Elmo in 1985 was his "New Bands" Doctrine. Those who might not have read His Greatness's pronouncement in the paper may need a recap: due to all the terrible music being performed today, the Royal Emperor has decreed that all of today's smash rock hitmakers must be executed at once—or at least as soon as possible—to make room for some new bands.
THE THREE O'CLOCK
RATT
It's always kind of pleasant for us at ROCK-SHOTS when Ratt sends us hundreds of pictures of themselves in the poignant hope that we’ll find it within the goodness of our hearts to run even one. "Even one real teenytiny one," in fact, according to this enclosed note.
JULIAN LENNON
Boy Howdy! TASTES GRATE!!
As all Americans know, a certain brewing company has been highly successful using various stars to promote their beer on television. And—as you also know—Boy Howdy!’s been promoted by almost every rock star since time itself began—and very effectively promoted, as well.
BRYAN ADAMS
DON DOKKEN
HALL & OATES
SCORPIONS