November 1984
Creem Profiles
RATT
(Pronounced “Boy Howdy!”)
CREEM Contents
You don’t have to print this if you don’t want. Last May, in Tampa, I saw Ozzy and Motley Crue. I ended up backstage cuz Nikki liked my looks. When I went back there, about 27 people were standing around the Crue. I could hardly see Nikki or Vince.
Christgau Consumer Guide
ROBERT CHRISTGAU
I wish Grandmaster Melle Mel hadn’t bothered with the plot summary (I also wish he’d stop saying “Huh!” all the time), and I wish Jake Holmes hadn’t bothered with the “love theme” (he can do the sequel, Bleecker Street). But executive producer Arthur Baker (with the help of executive producer Harry Belafonte, I’m sure) has done his best to drown the dreck in electrohop, with Bam baattaa and the System fashioning gratifying sharp tracks and Baker’s own “Breaker’s Revenge” on the edge with them.
Rock 'n' Roll News
Recently deposed Kiss fretter Vinnie Vincent is forming a new band with ex-New Englander Hirsh Gardner. Are you? Boy George and his ex-roomie Marilyn have kissed and made up. They returned from a sunny holiday in Jamaica with actual stubble on their internationally famous chins, a common symptom of men who don’t shave for a week.
The Beat Goes On
John Neilson
DETROIT—So what’s the first thing that Nick Cave wants to know upon his arrival in Detroit? He wants to know where all the murders are happening. Seems we have a reputation for that sort of thing around here, and murder is definitely something Cave finds interesting.
RECKIHNING & ROLLING WITH GREG KIHN!
Jeff Tamarkin
Even if you’ve never heard Greg Kihn’s music, you probably know who he is—he’s the character who comes up with dumb puns on his own name for most of his album titles. Let’s see, so far there’s been Next Of Kihn, Rockihnroll, Kihntinued, Kihnspiracy, and the latest, Kihntagious. What’s next?
Features
THE CARS’ NIGHT CONNECTIONS
Toby Goldstein
What does being in the Cars mean to you?
LETTER FROM BRITAIN
Cynthia Rose
As short a while as two weeks back, this summer sounded like Rerun City. Everyone and his sister (the Residents, Flying Lizards and Screamin’ Tony Baxter anyway) was “de-constructing” a James Brown number and the best tunes around were all reissues.
LITTLE STEVEN: THREAT OR MENACE?
Laura Fissinger
Once upon a time the Federal Bureau of Investigation was more talked about than Michael Jackson is now. Seems that lots of folks got disrespectful during the ’60s, and tried to do disrespectful things like party-hearty, stop wars, you know the routine.
QUIET RIOT: VERY SERIOUS ABOUT NOT BEING SERIOUS!
David Keeps
For your average cub-reportin’ type rock hack, the Road Trip stands as a hallowed institution, a chance to meet rock ’n’ roll’s Olympians “up close and personal,” to confirm the veracity of backstage horror stories and, most importantly, to drink their beer for free.
EXTENSION CHORDS
Once again, CREEM is happy to present New Products, a semi-regular column introducing some of the latest developments in musical instruments and technology as an aid to all the aspiring musicians and producers out there in Boy Howdy land.
PINK FLOYD'S POST-PARTUM PARITY
Dave DiMartino
Can I have my money back?
Cyndi Lauper: NAUGHTIER THAN EVER BEFORE!!!
We all know that the original She-bopper, Cyndi Lauper, can change costumes faster than a riding mower on a miniature golf course. We don’t, however, know anything about Cyndi’s other athletic abilities, or if she even has any. So, we doggedly (woof!) pursued good sport Cyndi all over creation (L.A., even), tanked her up with Boy Howdy cocktails, and tackled the question of this month’s Celebrity Sobriety Quiz:
Rock ‘n’ Roll Calendar
CALENDAR
DO BANANARAMA HAVE APPEAL?
L.E. Agnelli
They have never heard of CREEM Magazine, and when I describe it, Sarah deadpans, “Oh—it’s like the N.M.E. now.”
Features
LOU REED’S NEW ROCK SENSATIONS
Bill Holdship
Imagine being served one of the greatest meals of your life, and then being told you have exactly one-half hour to consume it.
THE GET WIRELESS GIVEAWAY!
Here is your opportunity to win the state-of-the-art in wireless microphone systems from the good folks at Nady. Two lucky winners will be chosen. The first winner will receive a Nady 49HT Wireless Mike. The Nady 49HT Wireless Hand-Held Microphone features superior dynamic range with noise-free operation, three-channel capability, Audio Technica PR-60 Microphone, and much more.
Eleganza
MOM OF A BITCH
John Mendelssohn
“I’m really not into playing particular roles just because you’re a certain age or have a certain position in life,” says Lois Weiss.
CREEMEDIA
David Keeps
Let’s put things in proper perspective, shall we? I mean, let’s get relentlessly real. Prince IS Purple Rain, and there’s absolutely no other reason to see this rather over-the-top celluloid fantasy than to witness his riveting moves and a New Age sex-and-gender crossover superstar.
MEDIA COOL
Bill Holdship
This is one of the best things ever written about Lennon. Wiener, a history professor and former ’60s activist, made headlines when he obtained 26 pounds of FBI and Immigration files on Lennon through the Freedom of Information Act (he and the ACLU are currently suing the Reagan administration for the remainder of Lennon’s “national security” FBI files), and the book mainly focuses on John’s political life (from the Fab Four through his death), how it related to rock ’n’ roll, and how it led to the harassment and persecution he and Yoko felt from Nixon’s blue meanies.
Video Video
VIDEOS FOR THE NEW DEPRESSION
Richard Riegel
Talk about power of the press!
45 REVELATIONS
Ken Barnes
It occurs to me that the general attitude toward self-plagiarization needs an overhaul. In pop music, as in most art forms, an artist who’s achieved success with a sound will often follow up with similar records—and that’s viewed, by critics especially but also by fans, as an aesthetic sin.
ATTACK OF THE PENCILNECK GEEKS!
Gregg Turner
Ladies and gentlemen...our next match is a one-fall tag-team event.
Records
SIOUX YOU
Roy Trakin
Once upon a time, they might’ve burned Siouxsie Sioux at the stake or thrown her in a lake to see if she’d float with rocks tied to her ankles.
A HATFUL OF ELT
Jon Young
Admit it: whether you’re a fan of Prince or John Denver, Van Halen or Abba, you must have a soft spot somewhere in your heart for good old Elton John. After all, it’s Elton, more than anyone else, who kept the fires of Top 40 burning bright in the doldrums of the early and mid-’70s with a wonderful string of hit singles.
ROCK • A • RAMA
Billy Altman
Ah, progress. Back in the ’70s, we had slews of LPs with an EP’s worth of good stuff on ’em; now we have “Mini-LPs” worth a hot 45. Like this Waterboys thing. Mike Scott and chums create an atmospheric kind of folk-rock with horns— sort of between the Bluebells and Teardrop Explodes, if that helps—and when the material matches Scott’s sense of drama, it blows most of the competition away.
KISS & TELL
Jaan Uhelszki
Patty Cake, Patty Cake: Did you wonder why Pat Benatar finished her last video in record time? Money problems, you ask? Nope—a rigid touring schedule? Wrong again. The reason was the winsome Ms. Benatar didn’t want to “show”—if you know what I mean.
Backstage
Backstage
Where the Stars Tank Up & Let Their Images Down