March 1984
Contents
I have bought your magazine many times, I have a subscription now and I enjoy it more than ever. Recently, as I was flipping past old issues, I ran past the 1982 Drug Reference chart (Nov. '82) and the article, which I re-read, really hit home. My uncle addicted himself to cocaine because of pressure at work and from his boss, who also did coke.
Christgau Consumer Guide
ROBERT CHRISTGAU
BAD BRAINS: "Rock For Light" (PVC):: Mediocre hardcore you can ignore, especially if you lie in an area where they dig up the street a lot; hardcore of a certain quality you love or hate. More than exfusioneer Dr. Know on "gits," it's the distinctive if not exactly authoritative blackboardscreechy "throat" of H.R. that provides the quality here, and I like it, kind of.
Rock 'n' Roll News
Now The Tail Can Be Told: John Lydon on how fellow Sex Pistol Sid Vicious got his distinctive moniker: "We called him after a pet hamster I had." That silly Boy George has been talking to the English press again. This time he blurted, "My mother still won't kiss me directly on the lips.
The Beat Goes On
AUSTIN — Unbeknownst to most Americans of the Northern persuasion, Texas's capital city has been a constant wellspring of new bands of virtually every genre. And now, spewing forth from the void, come the Big Boys, the latest in hardcore punk.
NO ORDINARY WHIPPER SNAPPERS: SOFT CELL'S SOFT SELL
John Mendelssohn
You report to the Ramada Inn in Beverly Hills at the agreed-upon hour of a drizzly afternoon between Halloween and Thanksgiving to ask Soft Cell hard questions, but they were expecting you earlier. Singer Marc Almond, who's doing all the talking for the duo while Dave Ball suffers from a cold, is on his way out to look at graves of the stars.
IF QUEEN WON'T BRIAN MAY
Sylvie Simmons
So here I am back in the giant Ajax can on Vine Street and waiting for Brian May. I look at my watch; the little hand and the big hand are sticking up like a peace sign; almost noon and it's hard to believe I'm up at this ungodly hour after last night's festivities, let alone the star.
Features
CUM ON, TOP THE CHARTZ
J. Kordosh
A Quiet Riot goin' on.
BREAKING RULES WITH HUEY LEWIS
Laura Fissinger
Right below "decadent millionaire" and "world savior" on the list of popular life ambitions is "normal guy making good as bigdeal rock star." CREEM has come across with a list of some of the rules that could help normal guys the world over stay normal once rock stardom hits.
ROCK ON THE RACK
Cynthia Rose
Charlie Gillett is a regular radio voice to London music-lovers, a regular aide-deartistes via his Oval label (among others, he discovered Lene Lovich) and consultant editor on many a "History Of Rock" project or prospectus. But way back in '71, he published a personal history of the rock roots he loved—and called it The Sound Of The City.
GANG OF FOUR: HARD MEN IN GOOD CARS
RJ Smith
At their best, the Gang Of Four make music at total war with itself.
Rock ‘n’ Roll Calendar
CALENDAR
ROCK '83: CRUMBLIN' DOWN!
1983 was the 12 month period us scribble-counters at CREEM have been gleefully anticipating for years! We knew all along (or, gambledj our dizzy-if-right-thinking electorate would eventually come through and kick all the old folks down the rusty fire escape of reality.
THE WINNERS CREEM '83 ROCK 'N' ROLL READERS' POLL
Creem Profiles
WAS (NOT WAS)
(Pronounced “Boy Howdy!”)
TWISTED SISTER: LOCAL HEROES IN WARPAINT MAKE GOOD
Toby Goldstein
Out in the endless flatlands of Long Island's Suffolk County, where the trafficclogged main streets are lined with every necessity for fast-food living and drive-in convenience, there used to be a rock 'n' roll joint called Hammerheads.
THE OZMAN, DUMBETH
Richard C. Walls
If, like many another overwhelmed consumer, you've let press releases and quickly scanned reviews decide the Ozzy issue for you, you've probably dismissed him as an obnoxious lout, a buffoon who plays and postures in that musical genre that was once the outrageous soundtrack for teen rebellion but has long since become as familiar and comfy as an old shoe, that highly ritualized and safe-as-milk format for containing discontent, overweight metal.
HELLO/ WE MUST BE SELLING
It's the band that just won't go away, the thing that wouldn't die, no matter how many limbs are cut off. or obstacles put in the way. Genesis has survived the double loss of both guitarist Steve Hackett and lead vocalist Peter Gabriel much like the Dallas Cowboys, rebuilding by grooming from within, with Phil Collins emerging as the home-grown star, stepping out from behind his drum kit and second-string status to reveal a distinctively plaintive, soulful croon.
MR.GUMBY TALKS DIRTY
Mitchell Cohen
Eddie Murphy's impersonation of Michael Jackson singing "She's Out Of My Life" isn't merely savagely accurate, and funny ("Tito, give me some tissue"), it's shrewd. Skewering Jackson, and the other singers in the bit, including mid-and-late period Elvis, Stevie Wonder (a long-winded Grammy acceptance speech) and James Brown (grunting unintelligible), sets up the terms of Murphy's fame: other comics aren't the competition, only pop stars.
Stars Cars
DAVID LEE ROTH
ROCK A RAMA
LIT A FORD —Out For Blood (Mercury):: Mellowplegiacs beware, for what we have here is no less than the Goddess of Thunder licentiously calling up the Lords of Chaos in a tsunami of exterminatory meat guitar moan. Ye yeggs of the nod, lift up thine eyelids slowly and behold this hammer and tongs glimpse into metal gehenna.
CREEM DREEM
ROBIN ZANDER
SUITED TOAT
John Mendelssohn
The time has come, Eleganza believes, to set forth some guidelines for the wearing of short-sleeved shirts. And Eleganza is nothing if not timely. Here I will paraphrase Fran Leibowitz, and ask this: If people don't want to hear from you, what leads you to imagine that they want to hear from your T-shirt, or to be urged to buy something by it?
THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS The Subgenius Foundation (McGraw-Hill)
David Keeps
Beware the Subgenii! They have charms to smooth the average beast and speak with forked tongues that can pierce the thickest skull, rattling the brainpan with seductive wordplay and narcotic mindfuck. They scoff at our gods, bearing testimony to the pipe-smoking salesman, one J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, who preaches fulfillment and easy money through the rites of "Slack."
media COOL
THE NEW ROLLING STONE RECORD GUIDE Edited by Dave Marsh & John Swenson (Random House):: The errors aren't as glaring as in the first edition, but some still exist (i.e., Elvis's "Follow That Dream" is on a U.S. LP [Double Dynamite]; Paul Lynde is on Bye Bye Birdie; "Out Come The Freaks" is on Was (Not Was); Mink DeVille is listed under both "D" and "M" with different ratings; two Modern Lovers "Live" LPs are listed when there is only one; "L.B." [Lester Bangs?] isn't identified, etc.).
KISS & TELL
Jaan Uhelszki
Arms Length: After the A.R.M.S. concert, Eric Clapton didn't seem to be seeking the comfort of his pretty Patty Boyd Harrison Clapton's arms but instead was feeling his oats (and trying to feel a certain olive-skinned brunette's oats, too) after the San Francisco gig.
Backstage
BACKSTAGE
Where the Stars Tank Up & Let Their Images Down