September 1982
WHAT IS A VIDIOT?
A VIDIOT is a game player. An excellent video player. One who plays the games as a way of life, for inner satisfaction. A soldier who wins, whose strategy is superior. A master video game player. A VIDIOT? Really? Someone who wants to beat the machine.
CONTENTS
THE SIGNAL ON THE SCREEN
Many arcades started out as shooting galleries, letting you pop balloons or shoot down the moving crows with an air-rifle or .22. Then came the pinball machines, with a variety of designs, all based on how long the player could keep the steel ball in motion on the board.
PINBALL
I know you haven’t got time to stop and think about it, but the computer game up on your screen is the latest moment in a great pastime. Quite a moment, for the nation and its pastimes are into strange times. Back before they’d even invented basketball, when there was a nation that had a national pastime called baseball, a variety of indoor games made the rounds which used pins stuck in a wooden board in various configurations that would impede the progress of a small ball rolling down the board.
THE GAME INVADERS
Who decides what the jet bomber is going to look like in Zaxxon or what kind of noise the blaster makes in Centipede? When you’ve got your quarter in and your hands are at the game controls, the game computer is trying to outsmart and destroy your play.
SPACE ARCADE
Okay, so there are some arcades that could do with a mop, pail, and coat of paint. But the machines are just in from California, glowing with enamel and electronics. And the two feet too much my two feet take up in front of the console, well I’m just planning to stand on the space, I promise not to touch it.
THE GRID: PLAY PERSPECTIVE
TV screens display a flat picture, just li movies, comics, and postcards. T picture has two dimensions: up and dow left and right. The other dimensic forward and away, adds the quality depth that gives us the picture of real life we know it. It is possible for the compu to simulate the third dimension to produ three-dimensional graphics on the scre but as yet, there isn’t enough room either arcade or game computers generate these three-dimensional images So we’re currently playing two-dime sional games.
VAN HALEN’S MICHAEL ANTHONY IS A VIDIOT!
When bass player Michael Anthony isn't watching David Lee Roth model clothes in Van Halen, ten-to-one he'll be down at the nearest arcade seeking the only revenge possible—Space Invaders death!
TED NUGENT IS A VIDIOT!
It takes a tough set of levers and bolts to get the better of a tough carnivore like Theodore Nugent of Detroit, who nonetheless seems to have been played for a fool by the lithe, Japanese-made Pac-Man, played by females the world over and won by same !
Pattern Play Secrets
So you want to beat the machine, or at east rack up a score that will leave the next player shaking his head in disbelief...don’t ve all? But whether there’s some secret vay to achieve that goal...well, that’s another barrel of pickles, isn’t it? As long as there have been games, there have been systems for beating them.
Maze Strategy
Some useful pointers to make maze games more relaxing and fun, and to get your score over a million... • Understand the nature of the maze before you begin play. Discover where it begins and ends, check for dead ends or corners where you can get trapped, note position of any bonus areas.
Home Computer Skill Levels
There are eight skill levels of Pac-Man play on the Atari Pac-Man cart. Most of the time number 8 is the one to play and try to score off of, but from time to time I’ll run through the other levels, and even though some of them are easier, I’ll get snagged up as likely as not.
-Game PlansHow I Zero In So I Don't Zero Out
When a new game hits the arcades, there’s always curiosity about how I’ll react to it. And, how it’ll react to me. There are certain games that, while I like to play them, I just don’t get any satisfaction out of. The game and I don’t seem to interlock, and not only is it a waste of quarters, but it shakes my faith in my overall combat ability.
ARCADE ACTION
There’s no question that Space Invaders is one of the classic games of its type. What's most interesting about the game is the basic idea behind the program... There are dozens of science fiction movies that rely on the ploy that made Space Invaders so popular.
PAC-MAN
Level One: This is the begining. Pac moves left or right, up or down. As he moves he traces a pathway through a mae by gobbling the pellets that line the maze. Life would be lyllic for Pac except that first one and then four ghosts are chasing him.
THE SHADOW OF THE JET
Sure they're lined up to play Pac-Man and the Ms., but if you’re looking for real action, just follow the crowd to the Zaxxon machine. Zaxxon has the most advanced game screen to date, creating a graphic display that is absolutely fantastic.
TRON
First came the Tron movie: an electric adventure story about a computer wiz who tries to terminate a runaway program in a huge computer information system only to get pulled into the system. Produced by Walt Disney studios, Tron is not only about computer adventures, it is filled with computerized effects: graphics that aren’t possible in the real world of film-making, but exist through the magic of computer electronics.
HEART'S WILSON SISTERS ARE NOT VIDIOTS!
Not everyone is a screen game fan. In fact. Heart have written a tune that has some wry comments about the computer game sport. Having a little fun with Space Duel are Heart’s Ann and Nancy Wilson.
VIDIOT
THE GAMES AT HOME
Maybe the lines are too long in the arcades, or maybe you just don’t have the time. But if you have the quarters — lots of ’em -you’ll be able to play some of your favorite games in the privacy and comfort of your own home. No one’ll be standing behind you huffing and puffing while you figure out the basic rules and—who knows?
GAMES TALK BACK
“ ...this is your crew speaking. sir. and while we'd follow you through hell and high water, sir. we'd recommend you activate the star shield as those are alien attack ships on our port side. sir... ” An imaginary conversation with your computer?
COMPUTE YOUR GAME POTENTIALS
Yes— No — I am interested in only playing games that have characters I can relate to and plenty of surprise action. Yes — No — I enjoy the competition in sports games because I relate to the challenge. Yes — No — Road racing games are best because of the dangerous thrills.
Many Players Are At Home In The Arcades, But Will The Arcades Ever Be At Home At Home?
Arcade game players are loyal to their machines, their scene, their big scores. Often they will tell you that the home game versions of the games they play just don’t match up to the thrills of the arcade version. These players see the arcades as the big leagues, where the big games are played...everything else is bush league.
Arcade Away From Home
Recent developments in home game computers may suggest that the home games are just like their bigger brothers and sisters in the arcade. Game time at both arcade and home disproves this... First you have to realize that this is an arcade, a place to have fun and play the game.
Space Rales: Compute Your Own Games
For about $150 you can get a computer (such as the Sinclair), hook it to your TV set, and begin work on your own game programs. The home computer goes hand-in-hand with the video game, no just because some home computer play games and some video games offer home computer options, but because the computer is what is used to both create and play the computer game.
Instruction Manual
It is an extremely simple process to interconnect a home video game system to your TV set. Don’t let all the cables with their implied technology fool you—there are only three basic elements which have to be put together before you can get down to some serious playing.
The Games To Beat: Computer Fear & The Serious Stuff
Computer games and arcade machines are nowhere near as challenging as the ultimate computer games—those that are written as programs for play on the more sophisticated home computers. The technical stuff is that the computer games and arcade machines aren’t equipped with the kind of memory capacity and storage that a real home computer has with its 48K RAM memory and one or two disc drives.
SUSAN LYNCH IS A VIDIOT.
ONE STEP BEYOND
Larry Kaplan
Video programmers are hard at work writing the next generation of video game programs. Of course they’re trying to come up with exciting, clever games to top Pac-Man and other current favorites, but they've also got other innovations in mind.
GAME'S OVER!
Well, folks, you've reached the end of Vidiots, but as this magazine has demonstrated, there's a wealth of video games out there just waiting for you to test your skill. Whether you're fortunate enough to play them at home or journey to the neighborhood arcade like our lovely miss here, it seems evident that the whole video game phenomenon isn't about to reach an end.