THE BOLLOCK BROTHERS The Prophecies Of Nostradamus (Blue Turtle)

Evidently this record is supposed to be some kind of dumb joke. It is. What would you think of a dance band that covers “Magic Carpet Ride” and “Heartbreaker” (Zep, not Funk) in metal-disco cadences with a nerdy vocalist who chants the lyrics with all the panache one can muster when reading from a cuecard? Not only that, but they ripoff the Sensational Alex Harvey Band’s “Last of the Teenage Idols/Vambo Marble Eye” on “The Beast is Calling” and end it in a skirl of bagpipe noise which appears to be a kind of backhanded tribute to poor dead Al. Additionally, there is a woman in the act who provides “special entertainment” (I geddit, she’s an exhibitionist, right?) sorta like that real tall girl in Skafish a coupla years back. The record finally ends on the single “Harley. David,” where Jock McDonald intones “Harley David, son-ofa-bitch/l like girls who have big tits,” which is certainly “biker” enough but howcum I think this was written after a viewing of Anger’s Scorpio Rising? It is prophesied that if the Bollock Brothers tour the heartland of America they will surely have their arms torn off and be beaten over their heads with the bloody stumps. G.S.