ONLY IN IT FOR THE MONEY? FRANK & MOON ZAPPA GO AM

The first time I heard Frank Zappa's "Valley Girl" on the radio, I turned up the volume, pulled my car off the road and sat there, slightly shocked. I was turned to KFRC, a very powerful, very popular Top 40 station in the San Francisco Bay Area, a station that generally plays hits like "Waiting For A Girl Like You" and "Keep The Fire Burning."

Yet here was this weird song being beamed out to a healthy chunk of Northern California radio listeners. Here was this spaced out Valley Girl (actually Frank's daughter Moon) delivering these raps: "Anyway, he goes are you into S and M? I go, oh RIGHT.. .Could you like just picture me in like a LEATHER TEDDY. Yeah right, HURT ME, HURT ME...I'm sure! NO WAY! He was like freaking me out... He called me a BEASTIE...That's cuz like he was totally BLITZED. He goes like BAG YOUR FACE! I'm sure!" And she was punctuating the raps with expressions like GAG ME WITH A SPOON and GRODY TO THE MAX and BARF ME OUT. Here was this heavy metal dirge of a music track with this cynical, taunting chorus of "Valley Girl, okay, fine, fer sure, fer sure, she's a Valley Girl and there is no cure." It was enough to distract me right into the oncoming traffic; I knew I'd better sit this one out on the side of the road.