November 1983
Contents
Please send letters to: MAIL Dept., CREEM Magazine P.O. Box P-1064 Birmingham, Ml 48012 BORING, NORMAL, UNFUNNY LETTER This is going to be one of those really boring, normal, unfunny letters that will probably never get printed but I’m writing it anyway because I'm bored stiff and there's nothing else to do.
Christgau Consumer Guide
ROBERT CHRISTGAU
“ATTACK OF THE KILLER B’S” (Warner Bros.):: Non-LP B sides are odd tracks out by definition, and while most of these would blend attractively if unobtrusively into albums by their respective auteurs, their proximity is strictly packaging.
Rock 'n' Roll News
Duran Duran spent their summer vacation in Montserrat, “putting on weight,” or so sez Simon Le Bon, group lip. It’s not just gluttony—the boys blame the extra poundage on the lack of nubiles to chase the sex godz about. Amplified stick Nick, “There’s all these little girls who obviously think black cats are much cuter than I am!” We wouldn’t touch that one with a 10-foot Plumper.
THE EDDIE AND THE CRUISERS GIVEAWAY!
Here is your opportunity to win in CREEM's Eddie and The Cruisers Giveaway. Even if you haven't seen the movie yet, an opportunity you shouldn't miss, you could still end up with more than a box of popcorn. Grand prized lucky winners, one each, a Bullet Guitar from Fender Musical Instruments.
The Beat Goes On
J. Kordosh
About Face? About Time DETROIT—And here’s the way our modern tragedy went: the band from Springfield, Missouri—the band that’s put the show in the Show Me State— were playing Detroit for the first time. People turned out by the twos until the crowd swelled to 30, or maybe even more.
Creem Profiles
BILLY IDOL
(Pronounced “Boy Howdy!”)
"NOT SERIOUS" SEZ JOAN A.
Laura Fissinger
By all appearances, CREEM magazine and Joan Armatrading have very little to say to each other. You know the cliches about us, what with your nose buried in an issue right this minute. And the cliched CREEM reader probably knows only the cliches about Joan Armatrading, if he/she knows anything at all.
HEAR! HEAR! THE HOLLIES 20 YEARS ON: Unfinished Business
Jeff Nesin
“I don’t know what to say about the whole 20 years. After the first year, after the first record, people would say, ‘Well you’re doing fine now, but how long do you think it’s gonna last?’ People are still asking me that and every tomorrow is a bonus as far as I’m concerned.
POISED ON THE BRINK OF INFINITY
Dave DiMartino
The Police have it all.
THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO KROKUS
Jeffrey Morgan
If you can't stand the heavy metal heat, get the hell out of the rock 'n' roll kitchen.
Rock ‘n’ Roll Calendar
CALENDAR
Eleganza
Daughters Of DARKNESS
John Mendelssohn
Nature abhors a vacuum, but Eleganza adores someone who dares to dress with panache, elan, and all the other French nouns that mean pizzazz.
BENCHPRESS
Billy Altman
The year is 1962, the place New York City. As a chartered bus carrying members of the Boston Red Sox baseball team rolls out of the Big Apple and off towards the nation’s capitol, where the boys from Beantown are scheduled to engage in battle against the pesky Washington Senators, the back doors of the vehicle suddenly fly open as two of the inhabitants leap out and quickly disappear into the teeming streets of Manhattan.
OVER-HEATED, OVER-HYPED, AND OVER HERE
Cynthia Rose
Hi there, wish you were here instead of me—we’re in the middle of a heatwave so humid it might get the Vandellas to back up Mary Wilson in that American advert about “the supreme ice cream.” The real news seems to be slogging (the Beat will reemerge as General Public but uh, “can’t tell you about that until Friday,” so you’ll know all about it by the time this sees print) —but rumors dart around like crazy.
CREEM HANGS THE OTHER ROCK MAGS OUT TO DRY!
Rick Johnson
Rock magazines—don’t ya just love ’em?
CREEM DREEM
TERRI NUNN
CREEMEDIA
Bill Holdship
Along with John Eskow’s Smokestack Lightning, P.F. Kluge’s Eddie And The Cruisers was one of the best rock novels I’ve ever read. If the film had captured some of the book’s melancholy mood and spirit, it could have been great. Unfortunately, it doesn’t and it isn’t.
FLU EPIDEMIC CONTINUES
Michael Davis
Why Asia?
ROCK • A • RAMA
Billy Altman
84 ROOMS (Rackit):: You want goofball eclecticism? The keyboard/guitar duo of Steve Hilton and Tracy Santa manage, on this rousing little EP, to artfully spoof everything from Hot Rats era Zappa (“Camelboots”) to empty brainpan rockabilly (“Cast Iron Arm”) to fresh-faced British Invasion poppiness (the-fifty-hooks-to-the-bar “Ask Any Girl”), and they even manage a belated followup to the Doors’ “Love Street” with the oompahing Music-to-Crave-Girls-By “Candystore.”
Stars Cars
MICHAEL ANTHONY
BEYOND THE STACKS BOY HOWDY'S GUIDE TO AMPLIFIERS
Steve Sattler
GUITAR AMPLIFIER UPDATE All things considered, in 1983 the prospects of buying the guitar amplifier that really works for you and your particular situation are much better than they were five years ago. The reasons are simple: rapidly advancing technology and competitive economics have caused the leading manufacturers to deliver a product line that meets the needs of a wide range of consumers at a more cost-effective price than ever before.
KISS & TELL
Jaan Uhelszki
She’s Too Fat For Me! Have you noticed how Stevie Nicks has filled out—right out of her frothy size fives. In fact, Stevie is so well fed that the original video of “Stand Back” had to be scrapped because she showed too much skin—and she had all of her clothes on!...
Backstage
Backstage
Where the Stars Tank Up & Let Their Images Down