January 1976
CONTENTS
CLAMORS FOR PATTI Why don’t you CREEM-puffs cut loose of those petticoat-panzies you’ve been capping on (Karen Carpenter and Carly Simon for example) and get down to a real rock ‘n’ roll lady such as the notorious Patti Smith? (Is this “America’s Only Rock ‘n’ Roll Magazine?” Or some redneck roster?)
CREEM ROCK CROSSWORD PUZZLE
Ronald Trice
THE CHRISTGAU CONSUMER GUIDE
Robert Christgau
THE ALLMAN BROTHERS: “Win, Lose or Draw” (Capricorn):: For a year or so I’ve been telling cynics that the Brothers haven’t broken up. Now I feel like maybe I was taken. C. CRACKIN’: “Crackin’—1” (Polydor) :: Inspirational Verse: “Throw away all your thoughts of hating,/We’re all important to someone,/But even though your house may need painting, /Yours is not the only one.
ROCK 'N' ROLL NEWS
For the record: it’s Ronee Blakely, Bobby Neuwirth, Ramblin’ Jack Elliott, Joan Baez, Rob Stoner, Mick Ronson, Ian Hunter, and Joni Mitchell, to name just a few who are doing full-time duty on Dylan’s current mysterioso mini-tour of New England clubs; while Patti Smith, Allen Ginsberg, Peter Orlovsky, Janis Ian, and George Harrison are completing or scheduled for only part-time duty with the “Rolling Thunder Revue,” when they get a chance.
THE BEAT GOES ON
Susan Whitall
Space Trackin’ CAPE KENNEDY, FLA. — How would you feel if you were jolted awake to the strains of Jerry Jeff Walker’s “Redneck Mother”? Ready to face the world? Ready to push all those little buttons and tussle with the Russkis in outer space?
PENGUINS IN BONDAGE
Robot A. Hull
Frank Zappa and Captain Beefheart
Creem Profiles
CHICAGO
(Pronounced “Boy Howdy!”)
In The True Rock Holiday Spirit, Flo & Eddie present... BUDDY
Once upon a time — I think it was on a Thursday a week before Christmas on a cold and snowy night — the stars reflected brightly on the snow already fallen as a baby reindeer was born. His name was Buddy. And, not far away, Mother Nature had caused yet another miracle to occur: a sapling named Maurice poked his tiny, leafy head above the frozen soil.
JETHRO TULL: NAKED CAME THE CODPIECE
Mongo Genheimer
TANGIER— In the Asian rain forests, charred infant flesh is scattered about the branches of a sapling like grotesque Christmas bulbs on a lethal celebratory icon. “When you did War Child, was it a reaction to the monolithic sort of thing you’d already done?”
Features
JOHN DENVER IS GOD
Lester Bangs
Something very new and beautiful came into my life oh, it must have been about three years ago, and since then it’s put me through so many mellow changes that I just had to share it with you.
Features
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN IS NOT GOD (AND DOESN’T WANT TO BE)
Robert Duncan
Understand. New Jersey has no baseball or football teams and half of it stinks.
Features
PATTI SMITH: SWEET HOWLING FIRE
Tony Glover
In most hip recording studios real-world time doesn’t exist — but in Electric Lady it’s denied.
LIZTOMANIA: KISS ME WHERE THE SUN SHINES
JANN UHELSZKI
“People are going to start thinking I’m Tommy. Liszt is a quick way of showing them I’m not Tommy,” Roger Daltrey recently told reporters, explaining why he took the part of Franz: to conquer an identity crisis.
CREEM DREEM
Tina Turner
Features
WHORIN’ AND SCORIN’ WITH Z.Z.TOP
Rick Johnson
“Have you seen the Pyramid Building Syndrome these days? Seems to be the big thing right now.
The Bay City Rollers Papers
Cameron Crowe
“You’re gonna interview the Rollers? They’ve been together six years. Ask ’em what they’ve been doing all that time.”
THE NEXT BEST THING TO ALMOST BEING THERE
One of the things I always grouse about when some do-gooder cultural enthusiast drags me out to some damn rock 'n' roll concert or another is the fact that I might be missing some good TV.
Stars Cars
C.F. Turner
Letter From Britain
If It’s Tuesday (or Wednesday or Thursday or...) This Must Be The Bar
Lester Bangs
Some notes on a week in the British Isles, courtesy of Rock Junkets Ltd.
Rewire Yourself
Copping The Proper Buzz
It’s Christmas again and there’s never been a better time of year to electrocute yourself.
Extension Chords
Towards A Brave New Present
Eric Gaer
The reason for the Travis Bean guitar sterns from a need for new technology in the field of solid body electric guitars and basses.
THE BEST & THE WORSTEDS
Lisa Robinson
JANUARY Fashion-wise, 1975 didn’t immediately dazzle. Robert Plant started, and eventually finished the Zeppelin tour wearing a floral print wraparound blouse and jeans, Jimmy Page wore satin jackets, and John Bonham wore Clockwork Orange boilersuits and black derby hat.
Creemedia
TRUCKIN’
Michael Goodwin
Truckdriving Movies Chills, thrills, spills, pills...not to mention Detroit on a Friday afternoon, that’s something else... Truckdriving folklore is so rich in potential excitement that you’d expect truckdriving movies to be as important a genre as westerns.
Confessions of a FILMFOX
Altho old Pres is putting on some excess baggage, his pretty ex, Priscilla is in fine shape. She’s no longer doing the karate boogaloo with her former live-in Kung Fu teacher, but she still is maintaining her “civil defense.” In fact she recently purchased a fox fur case for her 7 inch blackjack.
Records
APPOMATTOX REDUX
Lester Bangs
The Allman Brothers have one very serious, probably insoluble problem: they want to die.
ROCK · A · RAMA
STRAWBS - Nomadness (A&M) :: This could be very embarrassing at a party, although it can be very inspiring at four AM in downtown Birmingham during burned-out deadline rush. Rick Wakeman plays very nice electric harpsicord on “Tokyo Rosie,” while Dave Cousins remains an Old-English romanticist.
Motor Mouth
WOODY DISCOS THROUGH DETROIT
Greetings and felicitations earthlings... summer’s long gone but if this month is any indication of things to come, we’re hot for winter.
CALENDAR
Concerts MONDAY, DECEMBER 1 DAVE MASON and ROXY MUSIC Toledo Sports Arena J. GEILS BAND Cleveland TUESDAY, DECEMBER 2 PETER FRAMPTON and BOB SEGER Michigan State University, MSU Auditorium WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 3 SKIP VAN WINKLE Chances Are, Ann Arbor THURSDAY, DECEMBER 4 FRANKZAPPA
YES VIRGINIA...
Extra Creem, throughout the year, has tried to bring you the best in interviews. We’ve picked Detroit personalities with interesting jobs or backgrounds and made them the Creem Cheese of the month in an effort to bring them to you, our readers.
EXTRA CREEM'S SHOPPING GUIDE
For all of you cretins who can’t think of anything besides ties and plants and perfume at Christmas time, EXTRA CREEM, at great expense of money and time, has gone here and there, up your street and down ours, in an effort to present you with the definitive Christmas list.
WRAPPING THOSE BEAUTIES
Bob Talbert
Of all the people in this world I envy (and there must be three), people who wrap spiffy packages are God’s gift to Hudson’s and I wish I could be like them. My packages come out looking like a shirt somebody stomped on. I have a hard enough time with shoelaces (the Free Press hires the handicapped), much less itsy-bitsy ribbons on Christmas packages.
Creem Cheese Of The Month
SUSAN WHITALL
God, it’s 11:00, and I’m late for this appointment with Dick Purtan. Rock ‘n’ roll just isn’t a diurnal business — even when I get there, an hour late, our photographer has to offer to slap me silly to get the adrenalin flowing. I marvel at Purtan’s energy as he receives us in one of the engineering booths, surrounded by controls and tapes (“Crowd Sounds,” “Hysterical Laughter,” “Baby Crying,” “Horse Neighing”).
HEARTTHROB VS HEARTACHE
AIR WRECK GENHEIMER
To stand under the big lights, hear the roar of the crowd, take the encores and toy with the hordes of hypersexed groupies dying to titillate your rock star-inflated ego. Ah yes, to lead the sordid life of a teen idol...is that what you wanna do when you grow up, kids?
THE REAL SANTA CLAUS STORY!
Amy Broderick
You’ve gotten the real dope in this Christmas issue: an interview with Mr. C. himself — well, we grownups have our fantasies. An eight-year old EXTRA CREEM correspondent has demanded to give her side of the story in an effort to get the story straight after years of “Yes, Virginias” and CocaCola Santas.
Hush Puppies Aren’t Dumb
Marty Fischoff
THE FAMOUS BLUE DOT, 20841 John R, Hazel Park, 543-4070::In the patois of Kentucky cuisine, a hush puppy is a cornmeal ball, flavored with onions and other spices and deep-fried until delicious, delectable, diaphanous, indescribable. Pick your own adjective.
What Every Young Boozehound Craves
Airwreck Genheimer
THE WAGON WHEEL (Corner of Rochester & Big Beaver, Troy)::Greeting ,you at the Wagon Wheel is a dollar cover charge that is necessary to cover salaries for a highly trained security force who collect the dollar cover charge. Don’t get paranoid.