November 1974
CREEM
If Nixon is just a banality, how come I miss having him to kick around anymore? Steak ‘n’ Kidney Bob Texarkana, N.J. (To get to the other side. — Ed.) HOW CREEM CUMS I’m thinking of subscribing to CREEM (Creem). But first, I must know 1 (one) thing: when you mail the latest issue to my house, does it cum (come) in a sturdy (brown) envelope, or does, it come as is, with a mailing label on the cover?
ROCK 'N' ROLL NEWS
Two days after Keith Moon decided he’d like to cut a solo album, he walked into an L.A. studio and started recording, Ringo Starr joined him on harmony for the Beach Boys’ “Don't Worry Baby,” and others who pitched in included Harry Nilsson, Fanny, John Sebastian, and Johnny Rivers.
THE BEAT GOES ON
Earth News
According to two Columbia University psychologists, there’s more of a difference between musicians and nonmusicians than meets the ear. They have demonstrated that musically sophisticated people actually “hear” music in the left hemisphere of the brain, while musical knownothings “hear” music in the right hemisphere.
When In Doubt Kick Ass!
Lester Bangs
CREEM carpetbags Its Way Through a Few Pith-Ant Observations on the South, Where They Always Say "Howdy...Boy..."
SOUTHERN HALL OF FAME
Hank Williams: The Hillbilly Shakespeare brought country music into the modern world, and vice versa.
Features
Getting By Without The Allmans
Chet Flippo
The first time I didn’t see the Allman Brothers was also, by the strangest of coincidences, the first time Duane Ailman saved my life, or at least a large portion of it.
HYDRA Doesn't Sound Like the Allmans (Good!)
Tom Dupree
Hydra is the last of the original wave of Southern club bands, which started filling rock nightclubs in the Southeast as the Allman Brothers Band moved on to huge halls and AM singles. That wave also includes Stonehenge (now known as Mose Jones), Lynyrd Skynyrd, Wet Willie, the Atlanta Rhythm Section, and the Marshall Tucker Band. New groups are taking their places in the beer-andhemp-stained rockytonks along the Southern , circuit, groups like Copper Hill, Warm and Protrudamus.
Features
TODD RUNDGREN TELLS THE TRUTH
BEN EDMONDS
Or the things his hairdresser doesn’t know.
Features
LED ZEPPELIN’S ADRENALINE PUSH
ROY CARD
It’s sheep shearing time up in the Black Country, and not the most opportune moment for a Gentleman Farmer to give an interview.
Letter From Britain
Something Might Happen
Ian Mac Donald
Situation unchanged. Still hanging on in here, waiting for something to happen. (Wait — was that a heart-grazing lobe-grinder of a new single from Mick, Keiff, and Little Helpers? Nope. Oh well . . . ) Here are the facts: First, the Knebworth Bucolic Frolic — imminent in last month’s slo motion fandango — turned out to be the summer fest of the year in Limeyland.
Features
SUZI QUATRO: Elvis as Virgin Queen
Jaan Uhelszki
“I still use laundromats, and one day I was walking to one carrying a bag of laundry. I had a hat on and sunglasses because I didn’t want to be noticed. All of a sudden I turned around and there was a gang of kids asking for my autograph. I mean, how much can I look like a star with a bag of laundry? I said, ‘No, I’m not her, I just look like her.'
Eleganza
A Modest Proposal
Lisa Robinson
I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed it or not, but in the back pages of English music newspapers like the New Musical Express ot Melody Maker there are tons of clothing ads.
BEATLEMANIACS NEVER DIE
Lilith Moon
(But They Sure Get Carried Away)
Extension Chords
Is Your Magnetic Field Power-Related?
Michael Brooks
Guitarists have been trying for the past few years to condense their onstage contraptions.
HEAVY SOUNDS
bruce walthers
DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL
Rodney Evon
I think it’s time, I was saying the other day, to buy a jukebox. For $150, you don’t have to change the record every three minutes; that’s a lot less than you’ll pay for just an amplifier (though of course it won’t be stereo, blah blah blah — who cares?).
Prime Time
Maxene Fabe
Remember cartoons? With real heroes? A real hero could sustain being crushed by a boulder, impaled on a tree trunk, fast-fried by a flame thrower, run over by a train, and that all-time cartoon buzz, goosed by a little dynamite. Whereupon he’d emerge in the next frame unscathed except for a bandaid affixed to his tail (all cartoon heroes have tails) and smiling.
Creemedia
I Was A Vigilante In A Chain Cang
Henry Edwards
I saw Death Wish in a movie house on Broadway and not in a chic studio screening room even though last Christmas a radio film critic laden with shopping bags filled with gifts left the Twentieth Century Fox screening room on Manhattan’s very west side and was set upon by a gang of mugger-junkie-rapist-street-lice toughs and hearly crippled and blinded.
Confessions of a FILM FOX
“And all the stars that never were are parking cars and pumping gas”. . .or hosting game shows. Edd “Kookie” Byrnes will be the host of the new Wheel of Fortune, debuting this month. Talking about stars that never were, Linda Lovelace found another exercise for her oral talents: this one involves a lot of lip — she just signed a $125,000 contract for a new movie, Linda Lovelace For President.
SHORT TAKES
BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA (UA):: Sam Peckinpah has turned out one horrendous film after another (with the exception of Junior Bonner) ever since The Wild Bunch. Alfredd Garcia, however, hits a new low. The Getaway, in comparison, is a tour de force.
What, She Worry?
Ed Ward
“So of course, they came out — in the Hollywood Reporter, no less... oh, it was great, the column started out: ‘Yoo-hoo! Frank Sinatra!’ and I thought ‘I have to plow through this? But what the thing said was that I had had an affair with Marvin Gaye before he met Berry Gordy’s sister...” Elaine Jesmer, author of a scandalous novel about the record and nightclub businesses Number One With A Bullet, gives a look that says “How silly, how hopeless these people are.”
Off The Wall
John Morthland
THE GOOD OLD BOYS by Paul Hemphill (Simon and Schuster):: This one runs the Southern gamut: Lester Maddox, moonshine, stock car racing, Cajun festivities, cotton, evangelism, poor whites and blacks in conflict, Dixieland, country music stars, and a story about the author and his truck-driving father called “Growing Up Redneck.”
Records
Stevie’s Formula Avant-Boogaloo
Rodney Evon
Stevie Wonder’s new album, with Sly Stone’s Small Talk, may be the first step in a new direction for avant-boogaloo; it is formula avant-boogaloo.
ROCK ·A· RAMA
THE WOMBLES — Remember You’re a Womble (Columbia):: Q: How can you tell they’re English if they won’t take their costumes off? A: They sound like the Beach Boys. I prefer the Banana Splits, though. M.J. WIZZARD — Eddie & the Falcons (United Artist):: Q: What do Roy Wood and Frank Zappa have in common? A: Enough so that you don’t want this album.