In real life, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, Eleganza’s and every heterosexual American boy’s favorite television personality, is actually Cassandra Peterson, who’s hip, vivacious, and friendly, disdains heavy metal, and has avidly supported handgun control since John Lennon’s murder, when “I just flipped completely out.” She contributes time and money to organizations dedicated to the welfare of abused children, abused women, and animals, and says, “I like to help underdog kinds of people.”

Robert Redding designed her wig, makeup, and dress not to evoke a vampire, it turns out, but the Ronettes, which, as Peterson laughingly notes, “is the next best thing.”