SCORPIONS: STINGING SCORCHERS OR VIRGIN KILLERS?

If, as Jah Roth says, there's a little bit of Van Halen in everyone on a Saturday night, there's likely a whole lot of Scorpions the morning after.

"It's early morning the sun comes out/last night was shaking and pretty loud/my cat is purring and scratches my skin/so what is wrong with another sin/the bitch is hungry she needs to tell/so I give her inches and feed her well." Personally I feed mine Nine Lives but one cat's meat is another cat's Seafood Supper. Anyway, these immortal lines are from "Rock You like A Hurricane," one of the tunes on Love At First Sting, the latest greatest Scorpions LP. 700,000 of you already know that; you've bought the thing, and can't say as I blame you, the Scorpions being one of the better HM bands this miserable world has to offer. But for the rest of you heathens, it's the one with the black-and-white snapshot of the dedicated acupuncturist on the sleeve, so bent on curing a poor hysterical girl's anorexia that he rushed over without even stopping to clean his fingernails. (The latest in a series of Scorpions Helpful Hints album covers: Lovedrive: How To Remove Bubblegum From Your Date's Breast Without Alerting The Limo Driver; Virgin Killer: How To Determine The Sex Of A Young Adolescent When They're Not Wearing GenderIndicating Garments...)