STONES GET MOSSED!

Lotsa people have had lotsa stuff to say about the Rolling Stones since the band's origin sometime around the dawn of the Industrial Devolution. Teen magazine alternately flash-drool and cross their legs over them, while teen mags for big kids, one of which is even named after the band (Bait & Tackle) examine their every twitch and sniffle for evidence of rumors. Even Sunday supplements run stories like "Mick And Bianca—The New Ernest And Ethel?," and it's whispered in publishing circles that Sadat barely nosed out Charlie Watts as Time magazine's Man Of The Year. Even Ed Sullivan once called Mick "handsome" on the air. (Of course, old Ed liked to flash aquariums too.)

Outside of the media, the loudest trombone of Stones blab has come for The Fans Themselves. Now, the number of hard-core, dyed-in-the-rags Stones fans who spend all their time trying to figure out that one line in "Satisfaction" is actually about the same as card-carrying members of the Red Brigade. But like those wild & crazy terrorists, all they have to do is make a lot of bam bam and everybody else falls into line, or falls period. Come fall, it'll be "which one did you say has the funny teeth?" time all over again.