What’s So Special About Troy Donahue?

Insomnia. Personally I don't belive in it— there are too many home remedies like drinking a fifth of whiskey very quickly or taking 30 valiums in a gulp. It's true that after the whiskey cure you'll probably wake up a screaming paranoid mass of cracked jellied synapses and after the valium cure you probably won't wake up at all, but consider the heinous alternative. If, in the wee small hours (as people who never stay up late call them), you find sleep eluding you and there are no benign deadly chemicals at hand, and all your friends are either asleep or beyond speech, and you've given up making crank calls to the Suicide Prevention Center because they keep hanging up on you, and radio simply isn't enough anymore, and your mind continues to race (or at least lope) along demanding input like a deranged diabetic screaming foraTwinkie . . . well then, there's nothing left but the late, late show. A dubious tonic at best; it won't cure your insomnia but after awhile you'll probablyxbegin to think you're asleep.

The late, late snow is not to be confused with the late show. The late show is reasonably sanb. The late, late show is the haven of B-movies (B for low budget). Here lies lunacy. These are movies made tp be be forgotten, films whose original purpose was to clear the theater between showings of the main feature or to swell the presentation out to a double bill so patrons would feel they were gettin' their money's worth. Now they're the staple fare during those hours which are neither wee nor small but big and empty and intensely long (everything is intensified if you're still rolling on your own mpmentum at , 3:00 AM).