Well darlings, we just hope New Year's Eve '75 was no indication of things to come for '76. Boring, boring, boring. But anyway —

Elvis! Elvis! Elvis! El Swivel-hips performed before his largest audience ever on New Year's Eve and insiders report that because of that the Pelvis had a touching case of pre-show butterflies. Elvis and company raked in more money than any concert ever — $800,000. They didn't fill up the stadium, but the hefty price of the tickets inflated the gate considerably. Elvis's current gal Linda Thompson perched in his dressing room looking gorgeous, and Daddy's little girl Lisa Presley darted in and out. The show was highlighted by Elvis counting down the minutes until midnight and then A coercing the audience to sing " Auld Lang Syne." The Presley pants suffered a split in between numbers when Elvis bent over, but those same insiders tell us that he isn't as incredibly fat as the press would have you believe.