MADONNA: WHO IS THAT GIRL, ANYWAY?

Is there anyone left in the universe who when asked “Who’s that girl?” will not answer back, “Madonna”? The name alone is larger than the petite singer/actress herself and when uttered can instill shrieks, groans, compliments and complaints. Let’s face it. We hate loving her and we love hating her. We laugh as she dares to call herself an actress and then dash out to see the movie several times just to (accurately) criticize it. We berate her image and fashion sense while standing in line at the clothing store purchasing tube skirts and flirting with the sales clerk. We shout out, “you can’t sing for your life” knowing that we own every copy of every record this woman has to offer. We swear we wouldn’t be caught dead at her shows as we stand in line, all night if need be. And you know what? We enjoy the shows. I tell you, the nerve of that woman.

It seems like only yesterday that she entered our homes (via MTV) and teased us with her Shirley Temple do, Betty Boop attire and Minnie Mouse-on-helium vocals. Who exactly loves Madonna? Let’s consult the census. First there are the “Wanna Be’s,” girls who see a woman living her life the way she wants and wearing clothes they can afford, not to mention jewelry they can get away with. After all, it’s easier to explain why you’re wearing a crucifix around your neck than a safety pin through your nose. It is my speculation that people who distribute the material it takes to make tube skirts, stretch pants and wedding gowns have tripled their income and are now toasting Madonna on some tropical island. Which brings us to the second group of people who love Ms. Ciccone: businesspeople. The marketing of Madonna has been astronomically successful. Why, oh why has this woman not come out with her own line of clothing for K-Mart? Regardless, Madonna has sold millions on top of millions of albums which makes the record company happy, who' in turn, love her.