RECORDS

BON JOVI Slippery When Wet (Mercury) Poor Jon Bon Jovi tries so hard to play the tough hetero rock guy, but invariably comes out sounding like he’d be more comfortable helping mom with the dishes. For three straight albums now, Mr. Jovi (you can call him Bon) and his namesake Jovi ensemble have turned out soullessly efficient medium-heavy productrecords so startlingly unambitious, so completely oblivious to the qualities necessary for good rock ’n’ roll, that, aside from the occasional medium-lewd sexual reference, they could have been blueprinted by the PMRC as models for safe under-18 consumption.