MR. BLACKMAIL'S GUIDE TO HEAVY METAL STYLE

Congratulations, metalhead! So you’ve finally mastered those three tricky guitar chords, adjusted the master volume on the Marshall to 11, and memorized 72 words that rhyme with “blood beast.” The moon-baying is coming along nicely, an entire three-block radius surrounding your house has invested in several cartons of ear plugs, and you’ve been offered a choice selection of nearby fallout shelters in which to—excuse the expression—practice.