THE WORST NEW ACTS OF THE '80s

Anastasia Finn

Around the Finn house, Ralph and I and our two teenagers have found that making a list every June of the things that we’ve liked and disliked about the year to date helps us get more out of the latter half of the year. Last June, for instance, my own list included our younger boy Chip’s A in social studies and his older brother Jerry blocking that punt in the big game against Centerville in my Likes column, while my Dislikes included Chip’s vasectomy (he said he just wanted to know what they felt like—and there went our grandchildren [we think Jerry’s gay])—and Ralph’s affair with that slut in his office. Which I know I promised I wouldn’t mention again. So kill me!