I tell you, this here rock video revolution is spreading by such leaps and bounds that even the most dedicated of us finger-on-thepulsebeat cultural observers have our digits full trying to keep up. Like the other night, as I'm watching Magnum and collecting data for my upcoming treatise, The Bittersweet Triumph Of Larry Manetti, what should show up between scenes but the sound and sights of Randy Newman's 'I Love L.A.' video. Well, hey, I says to myself, what are videos anyway but commercials for records, that's cool—except that after a while all these Nike running shoes posters start showing up on the screen instead of the gang from Laverne And Shirley, there's half of the Raiders football team screaming 'We love it!' All of this, mind you, interspersed with official song video footage. In other words, we've now gone way, way past the 'It's So Easy'/'Good Vibrations' standard practice appropriation of hit tunes to push consumer goods into a brand new realm of exploitation. I mean, talk about your new horizons! I can just visualize the bargaining session for the acquisition rights: Nike: 'Those fat guys playing instruments—what're they called, Tutu?—not the image Nike wants to project. Ditto for the guy driving the car.' Warner Bros: 'But that's Randy Newman! He wrote the song!' Nike: 'Well, alright—as long as the redhead is in every shot with him.'

Is nothing safe? About two days after I first saw the 'I Love L.A.''/Nike spot, I caught the tail end of a women's shoes ad sporting an old shiny red sedan out of which popped three luscious scantily-clad super-femmes out to aid a young girl trying to find something cool for her tootsies. I mean, really! Pretty soon Billy, Dusty and Frank are going to have to take out patents so's to protect the individual rights of their facial hair!