TURN OFF THE ALARM (OR AT LEAST GIVE IT A HAIRCUT)

John Wayne didn't do too much for anyone, but he left a fine legacy of shirts—and they look even better on the Alarm. That's them up onstage, sleeves metaphorically rolled up, sweat on brow, no pissing about, eyes wide open and gazing firmly into the distance like some bold, brave, pure and noble boys marching off to some righteous black-and-white-movie war.