THE RAMONES: HOT RODS TO HOLLYWOOD

Joey Ramone and I are standing in the first floor hallway of a dilapidated, no-longer-being-used high school situated somewhere in one of the less fashionable neighborhoods of Los Angeles. Scarcely had we arrived for the day's shooting on Rock 'n' Roll High School-the New World Pictures (that's Roger "King of the Drive-Ins" Corman's company) film in which the Ramones make their cinematic debut -when director Allan Arkush walked over to us and shoved cans of spray paint into our hands. "Here," he smiled, with a devilish twinkle in his eye, "whatever you always wanted to scrawl on the walls of your high school, now's your chance." So here we are, staring at the blank space reserved for us by the back stairwell (now there's a word I haven't used in over a decade, although I confess that when I am caught in the rush hour mass melee on the subways, I do still keep to the right going up and down the steps), index fingers on the pushbuttons. ready to strike. I figure since this is the first time I've ever been on the other side of the silver screen, a bit of homage is in order and so. with visions of Shelley Winters trying to climb the cyclone fence and escape from the concentration camp for the over-the-hill-ers in Wild In The Streets. I emblazon the famous "14 or fight" on the institutional green surface. Above me, the long arm of Little Joe Ramone is carefully administering the finishing touches on his masterpiece. All around us, lighting men and camera operators and shieppers are going about their chores. The second unit director is trying to keep the noise level down from the gang of authentic All-American secondary schoolers who have been bussed over from the good side of town to serve as extras, in the movie, and the green and gold outfitted cheerleaders are being given instructions about when to come down the stairs and go into their baton twirling maneuvers during the upcoming filming of the student body going berserk to the tune of "Do You Wanna Dance?" Joey seems oblivious to all the frantic action around him as he posts his pressing declaration. I step back to see what he's writing, and suddenly it's all flashing before my eyes: the girl sitting in the next row in chemistry who you could never get the nerve up to even say hi to; the shmuck who used to push you from behind into your open locker and then disappear into the crowd before you could retaliate; the math teacher who only tilled on you for answers on days when you hadn't done your homework; fire drills; detention; soggy salads in soggy paper cups. Yes, Joey has summed it all up, in foot high letters that go off in all different directions. The one thing we never could really Sjay to anyone during those difficult years—"HELP ME!!!"

Hopefully, Rock `n' Roll High School wiligive the Ramones the shot in the arm they so richly deserve.