If You're Ever In Tulsa, Look Me Down

As I collapsed on my bed in a drunken stupor in room 1433 of the Mayo hotel at 5:30 a.m. on the 5th of November in Tulsa, Oklahoma (a long ways from the comforting neurotica of my New York neighborhood, but such is the heartwarming hospitality of the great Southwest that the hotel management had provided—free of charge—a thoughtful reminder of home; upon entering my suite for the first time the previous afternoon, I opened the door to the bathroom and was welcomingly greeted by a huge waterbug swimming around merrily in the toilet.