I don’t know for sure whether or not Hoyt Axton had ever been to Spain before he authored Never Been To Spain, but I do know that I had never been to England before I was there a few months ago in order to produce this document regarding my experiences there. Although I spent most of the flight over the Atlantic thinking of Roger Miller’s “England Swings” while watching John Wayne in The Shootist with earphones tuned to an interview with Chicago’s Robert Lamm (all of this intoxicating media mix helped along by a sublime drowziness induced by the Valium which one of my flying companions had been kind enough, in her realization of our shared fear of flying, to donate to me), after a week’s time, as I flew back watching Mel Brooks’ Silent Movie (this time I had the sense to not purchase the earphones), my impressions were more embodied by Merle Haggard’s “If We Make It Through December.” Yes, times are as hard as they can be in Merrie Olde and even a veteran pauper like myself realized that after converting the d’s and c’s into l’s and p’s that a little scratch goes a long way in the grim economic world of today’s London. Prices are way down, mainly because everyone has so little money and to keep prices high would mean no sales on just about everything. Including food.

Like one day the young woman from Capitol Records (that nice outfit who, besides 1) giving us the Beatles, 2) allowing Brian Wilson to produce the Beach Boys himself at a very tender age, 3) letting Kim Fowley sucker them for two ridiculously brilliant albums, 4) being patient with Steve Miller through about seven years of bad times until the investment finally paid off and 5) giving me the nicest piece of record promo clothing ever received by yours truly— a sweater, blue, with the old Capitol logo—have flown me to London for a week of fun in the fog to see one of